Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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