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Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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