That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
