Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have fence marks all over my body
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
