Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
