Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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