Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
