I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
