oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
