lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
