girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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