I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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