i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
