Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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