Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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