Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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