Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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