is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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