i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
