brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
