I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
