you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
