just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
