This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
