Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Damn victory sex feels great
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
