i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
