I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize