We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
