At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
