My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it because I queefed?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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