with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
