Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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