i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize