I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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