He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
