Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
