...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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