he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
