is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
this will be a night to untag.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
