Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
