ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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