i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
