I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
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I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you never un-have a 4some
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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