Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
