Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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