peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
