I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Randomize
