why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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