I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
