dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
