my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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