What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I want her autograph on my taint
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
