woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
