Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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