Tell her she can't have a vagina
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
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i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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