Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
what the fuck happened to the tacos
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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