you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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