you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
