I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
