Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I had to cum in my sink.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
