So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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