Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
