eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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