Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
