do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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